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Archive for the ‘Celebrity News’ Category

‘Dear John’ Beats Out ‘Avatar’

In Celebrity News, Movies on February 7, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Shocked?? I’m not. It’s about time that blue alien flick got knocked off its pedestal. And it makes it even funnier that it was a sappy chick flick that did it in.

Dear John has become the highest grossing flick over a Super Bowl weekend ever, bringing in more than $32.4 million. The film, starring that one dude from She’s the Man and that one chick from Jennifer’s Body, has beat many experts estimates over the weekend.

The flick had a huge Friday, making more than $13 million, while Avatar only made $6 million (impressively, only a -16% drop). The storms sweeping across the nation may have had an impact on the total grosses for both films, but given the huge lead Dear John creted on Friday, Avatar didn’t have a chance of catching up.

Nice to see sappy, romance novels can still be turned into high grossing films.

That gives you hope, Julia Roberts. That gives you hope.

‘Cause we all know your career needs a resurgance. What’s the last hit flick you had?? Exactly.

dOOr cLoSeD.

-Damien

(P.S. See full weekend Box Office Gross after the jump) Read the rest of this entry »

SHOCKER! Tiger Gives Wife, Elin, A $300M For Alleged “Transgressions”??

In Celebrity News on January 4, 2010 at 12:46 pm

That’s what some reports are saying.

Shit, is that my money flying away?

Damn! What is this, $25M per whore? Wow! According to some reports surfacing today, Tiger Woods, you know that one dude who USED to be a respected golfer and family man, gave his wife $300M to forgive him for his “transgressions.”

Okay, I’m going to take this news with a grain of salt, so I don’t know if this is exactly true. But look, I don’t think they will be staying with one another any time soon. I am interested in knowing how much exactly she will get. Tiger Woods is worth $1 Billion, mind you. How tight is that pre-nup?

Is the pre-nup worthless now that infidelity is involved? My advice to Elin:

TAKE HALF! RUN WITH IT! FAST!  Haha, no I’m just kidding…

Take it all.

dOOr cLoSeD.

-Damien

Tiger on the Cover of Vanity Fair! And Shirtless!

In Celebrity News on January 4, 2010 at 10:57 am

This is what you’ve been fighing for ladies? Look at his hairy nipples and botched stomach? Whoa, looks like you girls were blinded that wad of cash he must have in his pockets.

Say Cheese! (Image via/Vanity Fair)

In a smart move by Vanity Fair, Tiger Woods, unknowingly probably, graced the cover of their newest issue due to hit stands this February.

“The Mystery of a Sports Superstar” is the name of the accompanying article which will feature never-before-seen pictures of the golfer. But let’s get back to the cover photo.

Tiger! Why the hell are your hair nipples curling? You look like you’re in jail. Your face? Ghostly. Your body? Creepy as fuck.

Seriously, I don’t know if you’re about to swing a golf club or murder me.

dOOr cLoSeD.

-Damien

Listen Up! Unreleased Michael Jackson Song Hits the InterWebs!

In Celebrity News, Music on January 4, 2010 at 12:08 am

And it sounds a hell out of a lot better than Michael Jackson’s, “This Is It.”

The song is a duet with singer Lenny Kravitz entitled, “Another Day.” This is probably one of many songs that Jackson has recorded over his lifetime that have not seen the light of day…that is until now.

Hell, if 2Pac and Biggie can make 8 albums each after they have both died, why can’t the King of Pop. So here’s what I predict will happen: the estate of Michael Jackson will find all these songs that have not yet been released and make a compilation CD and earn millions of dollars from the sales.

Watch it happen. It’s not a bad idea, either. I definitely would buy the album…only if the shit on it doesn’t sound like “This Is It.”

I’m sorry, ya’ll but that was some wack ass confusion of a song. “Another Day” sounds much better.

Take a listen for yourself above!

dOOr cLoSeD.

-Damien

Oh Thank God! Kate Gosselin Not Getting Her Own Dating Show!

In Celebrity News, Reality Whores, Television on January 3, 2010 at 2:18 am

So, there is a God? Not that I doubted it, but this has to prove it. Forget finding Jesus’ tomb or the cross he carried. This piece of news proves that he does answer our prayers.

Wanna date me? Too damn bad! (Image via/Babble.com)

I was beginning to wonder if this story would turn out to be true, but thankfully it isn’t.

Kate Gosselin, you know that one chick who divorced that fat dude, but not before starring in a reality show raising their eight kids, was rumored to be in talks of receiving her own reality show, after Jon & Kate plus Eight was cancelled.

This is not new, as we have known for a while that she was going to receive her own show with TLC. But when reports were suggesting that the show would be a dating show, I about sh*t my pants. I prayed that this wasn’t true and that someone would just offer her a spot on Dancing with Stars to distract her from this idea.

Luckily, somone at TLC listened and a rep from the network has confirmed that Kate Gosselin will not be appearing in a dating show. Thank GOD! But they will not say what kind of show will premiere in the spring of 2010 with Gosselin.

So, we just have to wait and see. I think not telling what the show is about signals one of two things (or both!): 1) TLC still has no friggin’ idea what they are going to do with this woman and/or 2) They are trying really hard to keep Kate Gosselin’s name in the news and rev up buzz for this new “mystery” show.

Either way, I know my ass will be plopped in front of the tube when her show debuts. Whether I stay past the first commercial…now, that’s asking a lot.

dOOr cLoSeD.

-Damien

P.S. Don’t forget to check out the Archives of Close the Door, Please for more gut busting (can that really happen) entertainment stories!

Bow Wow, Don’t Drink and Tweet! I Mean, Drive and Tweet. Or Drink and Drive.

In Celebrity News, Music on January 2, 2010 at 8:22 pm

Yeah, should have took that advice dude. Luckily your ass can’t get arrested for what you wrote. Lucky.

Image via/StarTraks (via/TMZ)

Bow Wow, that one dude who is (?) a rapper who “hit” songs include, “Bounce With Me,” and…, decided to take to his Twitter account and, well, talk about how drunk he was and how he was about to hit the people crowding the streets road “tipsy.”

In his own words:

“Face numb im whippin the lambo. Tispy as f*k. Just left @livmiami….Im f**ked up!!! Ohhhh damn. Y i drive the lambo. Chris might have to drive after next spot.”

What a f**king dumbass! Seriously! You could have hurt someone or yourself. You need to stop hanging around the likes of Chris Beat-her-Down Brown.

A few hours later, the messages were gone and replaced with this apology tweet:

“Apologize for that tweet. it was stupid and immature. not a way i want to kick my #2010 year off. i got too much good stuff lined up. my bad.”

Yeah, let’s start off the new year with a different kind of hit, Bow Wow. Can we do that?

dOOr cLoSeD.

-Damien

P.S. Why the hell does Akon look so damn….DARK? I’m sorry, but he is one ugly motherf**ker!

Hmm, Tiger’s Wife Spends Birthday W/O, Oh, I Don’t Know, TIGER!

In Celebrity News on January 2, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Well, this is kind of expected, right?

Image via/Flynet (via/RadarGossip)

Elin Nordegren, you know that one lady who “is” married to Tiger Woods who got cheated on by said golfer, celebrated her 30th birthday in the French Alps without her husband, professional douchebag Tiger Woods.

Nordegren (why couldn’t she take a simpler name, like, I don’t know, WOODS!) was said to be spending her birthday in a luxurious cabin with her twin sister and her husband and other close friends.

Looks like they are taking a page out of each other books, Tiger and Elin. Tiger Woods spent his 34th birthday on Dec. 30th, 2009 seperate from his wife and she is spending her’s away from him also. Could this be a sign that a divorce is on the horizon?

I don’t condone divorce as I believe that couples should try to work out their issues, especially when children are involved. Sound familiar, Jon and Kate? Anyway, I think this situation might be an exception to that. I could understand if she decided to forgive him for one of his late night trists with some whore, but this dude has how many whores?

What number are we at? #23? #12? #347865?

Jeez.

dOOr cLoSeD.

-Damien

Uh-Oh, Lost Another One, Tiger!

In Celebrity News on December 31, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Looks like that “Billion Dollar Athlete” title you got there is slowly slipping through your fingertips ’cause you just lost another sponsor.

Image via/Keith Allison

This time, it’s AT&T saying peace out! Time to start paying your cell phone bill like the rest of us “normal” folk! AT&T announced today that it was ending its endorsement deal with the golfer, even though the contract, which is said to be  a “multi-year” one, was signed in early 2009. AT&T’s logo was found on Wood’s golfing back and they hosted an annual golf tournament benefiting charities throughout the country.

Damn, that quick! Did you even get paid, Tiger? AT&T is follwing suit of other companies such as Gillette and consulting firm Accenture, who also dropped Wood’s endorsement deals.

Will this make a dent in his pocketbook? I doubt it. I’m sure he has enough money lined up to last him the rest of his life. Don’t forget, we still haven’t heard from Gatorade, one of his biggest sponsors, and Nike is sticking with their guy.

Hmm, we shall see if that move pays off.

dOOr cLoSeD.

-Damien

The Tays Have Split

In Celebrity News on December 30, 2009 at 7:17 pm

Looks, like teenage love doesn’t last forever. Should be interesting to see how they interact with each other while they are doing press for their flick, Valentine’s Day. Maybe they can take tips from Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz.

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner, the country’s hottest teen stars, have broken up, according to friends close to the stars. Dating since earlier this year, the two seemed to be going strong, popping up at local eateries together, etc. But, I guess not all things are meant to be.

Of course, the couple say they are better off as friends.

Hollywood, can we please come up with another cliché  response to a break up? How about, “Friends? Negro, please. I can’t stand him.” Or, “Yeah, I, mean if I see her I will be nice to her, but I’m not calling that chick for no hot cocoa at Starbucks anytime soon.”

Try those. I’m sure that’ll get the message across.

dOOr cLoSeD.

-Damien

Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” to Thrill For Generations to Come

In Celebrity News, Movies, Music on December 30, 2009 at 6:45 pm

This is something that is well deserved.

Michael Jackson’s iconic music video, “Thriller,” is becoming immortalized by history…officially. This week, Jackson’s video was selected to be added into the National Film Registry this year by the Library of Congress.

This is the first time that a music video has been selected to join the cultural elite of films. Which brings up to an interesting point: “Thriller” isn’t technically a film. It’s a music video, which, yes, is 11 minutes long but that doesn’t consititute it as a film.

According to the Library of Congress, selects films that are “culturally, historically or aesthetically significant.” So, I guess “Thriller” could fall under that.

Anyway, it’s very fitting that this video has been selected seeing that we lost that artist who created it and one of the greatest performers of all time.

I’m content with that.

dOOr cLoSeD

-Damien